3 Ways to Renew Engagement with Your Older Children

family growth strategies Published on January 16, 2023

You have been a parent for many years. You have changed countless diapers, helped orchestrate many last-minute projects, and acted as a fierce confidant for your children. But as the years go by, your role in their life changes to something new. Instead of being their sole provider, you gradually transition into a new life stage as they become older. You may begin to ask yourself: 

“Will my family stay connected?” 

“Are the values I taught my children going to be carried on?” 

“With kids in different places and seasons of life, how can we still maintain a sense of family?” 

“What does building our family legacy look like with adult children?” 

Just because you have raised your children to be free-thinking adults, does not mean that they will need you less. Your family can still cultivate a powerful family legacy together that will last for generations to come. However, in order to nurture this legacy, you have to build a positive family culture. Creating a thriving family culture starts with understanding, vision, and most importantly, intentionality.  

 1. Invest in Understanding.  

Your family members each have different and God-given personalities with unique strengths. One of the biggest ways to tear your family culture down is by comparison. By investing in learning more about your children and the unique ways they operate, you are building a foundation of trust and healthy communication.  
We can tend to assume we know them well enough but investing in personality tools may open the doors to new discoveries, ways to optimize communication. The little details can make all the difference to connection. Invest in getting to know your children and the unique ways they operate. 

2. Cast a Collective Family Vision. 
Think about how you want your family to look five generations from now. If you are working to introduce the concept of legacy, cast a vision for what multigenerational looks like. What are the things your family wants to be known for 5 generations from now? It is never too late to start this process. 
Invite your older children to contribute their input of the family’s vision. This could be asking for their ideas, brainstorming new ways to live out your family values, or giving them the opportunity to decide how your family can practice generosity. It’s not “your” legacy but the family’s legacy, so all are invited to participate and shape. 

3. Create Intentional Space 
Prioritizing intentionality while fostering a culture of interdependence is crucial to growing your family’s legacy. Young families might be meeting weekly but set your own rhythms that work with adult children to check-in. This could be a quarterly call or even an annual family gathering to celebrate. Choose the key items you want to discuss and connect on as a family such as reviewing your vision, creating new goals, and reflecting on how you are navigating your family’s mission. 
One of the easiest ways to engage with your adult children is by uniting around a collective cause. Connect with each other over around acts of generosity and intentionally pursue time together completing those tasks. 

While your children may be grown up and beginning families of their own, they still need you to cast a vision and help unite the family. Both you and your children are contributing to your family’s legacy in new and exciting ways. Take a moment to step back and evaluate with your family what ways you may need to adjust and growth together.   

"While your children may be grown up and beginning families of their own, they still need you to cast a vision and help unite the family."


Come discover how you can create a legacy that lasts. At Vyne Legacy, we provide coaching, courses, consultations, workshops, and other resources for individuals and families seeking to define their vision and values. Start here to see which resource may be the best fit for you.