Take Another Look at Your Conflict

family communication family growth strategies Published on September 12, 2022

Replay videos have become significant in today’s sports games. Being able to access multiple camera angles of an incident has become the norm, and the results are revealing. By looking at an event from many perspectives, we can actually get the full story — and it can change the game.

Conflict is the same way. You get better insights into what’s actually happening when you choose to look at it from different angles. A number of factors, including differences in personality, paradigm, or values — as well as the impact of past or current circumstances — may be affecting your conflict.

Here are some questions you can ask when a conflict arises:

  1. Can this conflict be overlooked? Not everything is an offense that needs to be addressed. Some things we can overlook are based on whether there is an actual offense, the possibility of a root of bitterness, or the maturity level of the person you are engaged with.
  2. Is there a personality difference, generational difference, or personal context that is affecting this conflict? Where is the other person coming from? How can you seek to understand them better?
  3. Do you have a blind spot that is hindering your ability to resolve this issue? In what ways might you need to change in order to help resolve the problem at hand?


These questions can help you alter your response to what’s happening. If you only see the conflict one way, it can escalate unnecessarily or become more difficult to resolve. But if you learn to see it from multiple views — and seek to understand before seeking to be understood — you may attain much more satisfying outcomes.


“A number of factors, including differences in personality, paradigm, or values — as well as the impact of past or current circumstances — may be affecting your conflict.”


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