You’re Different… and So Is Your Family

family communication Published on September 19, 2022

“Why can’t you be like me?!”

Have you ever been in a family disagreement where someone used that line? We can all feel the anger or pain that followed that moment.

In fact, it’s usually one of the worst questions you can ask when you are navigating conflict.

You see, everyone is wired differently. Psalm 139:14 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each of us has our own unique, God-given personality. Each type of personality isn’t good or bad. It just… is.

That’s an important lesson to remember for any type of communication, but especially conflict. Different personalities do not mean one is better or worse. It just means that understanding of one another will be required. What can be good or bad is a character, and that is an important distinction.

So when you are in this situation with a family member in the future (and you inevitably will be), what do you do? Here are two thoughts:

  1. Don’t assume because they see it differently that there’s a problem with them. Stay focused on the actual issue to resolve, rather than attempting to change who a person is.
  2. You need to understand them. A proactive step for building your family’s communication would be to take personality profile tests and understand your family’s unique wirings. What traits do they have that impact communication needs? (For example, a steady, consistent-paced person might need time to process vs. a fast-paced person who needs to know they are heard and a solution is being thought about.)

“Each of us has our own unique, God-given personality. That's a good thing!” 


When you communicate from a place of understanding, you’re able to engage with your loved ones in a healthy way.

Healthy communication leads to trust. When you trust each other, you’re well on your way to building a family legacy that will stand the test of time.

Take Action: Explore Resources Through Vyne Legacy

Come discover how you can create a legacy that lasts. At Vyne Legacy, we provide coaching, courses, consultations, workshops, and other resources for individuals and families seeking to define their vision and values. Start here to see which resource may be the best fit for you.